


a sky full of stars

by weddingbells



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Jealousy, M/M, and liam is mentioned, and nouis are married, and some angst, and some modelling, and zayn reads books, basically some sex, harry is a librarian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:40:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3278831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weddingbells/pseuds/weddingbells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Harry Styles is a librarian and Zayn Malik reads lots of books, and Harry pines and Louis Tomlinson and Niall Horan tries to help him to get the boy who might be the boy of his dreams, and Harry just wants to know everything about the tattooed angel he can't stop thinking about. Basically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a sky full of stars

**Author's Note:**

> Since Zarry is one of my otps and I have yet to write anything with them, this turned out quite long and not what I had expected for a first try. I want to thank everyone who cheered me on, there were times when I thought I wouldn't be able to finish this but now here we are and I just really hope you will like it! The Nouis is for my friend Rebecca because she deserves it for putting up with my Zarry talk all the time. The title is from Coldplay's song 'A sky full of stars' which always and forever will make me think of Zarry. Okay, enjoy!

 

“Excuse me?”

Harry looks up, the voice is a bit surprising because the library has been dead silent most of the day apart from when a couple of law students doing a school project came in and Harry had to hush them multiple times. Usually no one really talks to him at all, maybe it doesn’t really look as if he works there even though Louis has told him numerous times that he looks like a proper librarian, and him having any other job would be blasphemy.

Harry is very, very happy he is a librarian right now though because the man standing in front of him, wanting his attention might just be the prettiest thing Harry has ever seen, apart from when he got the new version of _Lord of the Rings_ with the new updated covers. Harry has to swallow, forcing himself to not get lost in hazel eyes, golden skin and dark, soft hair.

“Uhm, yes, sorry, how may I help you?” He asks, hoping he doesn’t sound like an idiot. The man smiles, showing a pile of books and a library card.

“The machine won’t take my card, I don’t know what’s wrong with it. I am pretty sure I have the right password, it just doesn’t seem to work.”

“Let me check.” Harry says, quickly moving from behind the counter to walk with the man over to the self help machine where you can register loans and return books without having to actually go to one of the librarians. It’s a fairly new system, Harry had just started working here when they installed it, but so far it has worked almost flawlessly.

Harry can’t help but to think that if the system decides to start giving them trouble, it picked a great time considering this guy is without a doubt one of the most gorgeous men Harry has seen in a long, long time.

“It probably just wants to mess with you a little, it does that, just a good pat in the right place and it will work again.” Harry says, trying to make it sound as if this happens all the time and that he actually has a clue what he is doing. He doesn’t really, but this man doesn’t need to know that.

“Thank you.” The man says when Harry, by some kind of miracle it must be, actually manages to get the machine to work and the books can be registered.

“Remember to return them in 30 days!” Harry says cheerfully, and the man chuckles a little.

“I’ll probably be back sooner than this, I tend to read a lot during the fall so expect me within a few days.”

“Well, you can come around as often as you like, because you know, we are a library, we have lots of books.” Harry says and wow, is he the biggest idiot or is he the _biggest_ idiot, the world will never really know.

The man smiles, putting his books in the backpack he carries with him and then with a little nod, that seems to be to be the proper way to say goodbye in situations like this, he is out of the library again.

Harry might actually have to sit down just to give his poor legs a break from the way they have been turning into jelly since he first laid eyes on the guy. Before he does though, he wanders over to the machine to see if the account is still logged in and if he might be able to catch a glimpse of the other’s name. In a non-creepy stalkerish way of course, he is just curious.

The screen reads _Zayn_ before it turns dark and Harry has to say the name quietly to himself.

“Zayn.”

It seems fitting in ways he can’t even describe, and Harry wonders if it’s possible to pick up more shifts at the library just to be able to not miss Zayn the next time he comes in there.

 

**

 

Turns out Harry is working the next time Zayn shows up, but this time Zayn doesn’t need any help apparently because he isn’t walking over to Harry, he just returns his book with the machine (who doesn’t seem to want to get the hint and break down just now, the _bastard_ ) and then he spends a few moments in the YA-section of the library, picking out four or five books that he borrows. When he is done, he sits down in one of the armchairs, making himself comfortable and starts to read the first book in the pile. Harry stands there and awkwardly watches him, it’s just impossible not to. Zayn is tall, only slightly shorter than Harry and his hair is only slightly shorter than Harry’s as well, and it looks soft and nice today. Even better than the first time Harry saw him. As if it wasn’t enough that Zayn has perfect hair, gorgeous eyes and sharp cheekbones, he is also dressed in ripped black jeans, a plain white tee with some band logo on it and a black leather jacket. It seems as if most of his skin, at least the parts that Harry can spot is covered with tattoos as well, and Harry wants to find out just how many tattoos Zayn hides on different parts of his body.

He wonders if he should go over to Zayn and say something, but as he tries to come up with something witty to say, Zayn seems to be done with reading at the library because he packs up his books to leave and does it without saying anything or even looking at Harry.

Harry tries not to be disappointed, only that he really is.

 

This keeps happening. Zayn shows up, each time looking even more gorgeous than the time before and Harry starts to look at him even though he doesn’t want to because it’s creepy. He just can’t help it, his eyes just ends up looking at Zayn. Sometimes Zayn says a friendly hi or give him a nod, but there’s nothing else and Harry doesn’t change it either because he is too scared to even say anything.

The sixth time it happens, Zayn shows up at the library wearing glasses and looking so hot Harry feels ready to throw himself out of the window and that’s when he finally caves in and texts Louis.

**_“I NEED SERIOUS HELP RIGHT NOW”_ **

**_“Pub in three hours then? I’ll be off by then. : ))”_ **

Harry sighs with relief, texting Louis back that he will be there before he goes back to try and do anything except to look at Zayn. Thankfully Zayn doesn’t stay long today, he just borrows his book, looking through the shelves of new books quickly and then leaves. Harry can’t wait to get him out of his head, as much alcohol as it will take.

 

**

 

Louis seems to come directly from work, he is still dressed in the Adidas jacket he always wears when he is coaching the team. It doesn’t seem as if he is sweaty though so they probably didn’t go through a proper workout, probably more of a sit and talk tactic session, but Harry doesn’t ask about it. It’s not that he isn’t interested; he is, it’s just that when Louis starts talking Harry gets lost in the fancy words and names on things that he doesn’t understand when it comes to football.

Anyway, he’s got bigger problems now and he needs Louis’ help, so being polite and ask how Louis’ day was, that will just have to wait.

“Is this about library guy?” Louis asks after ordering both of them a pint and sitting down at a table away from the most chatty folks that have ventured into the pub after a day of hard work. Harry is thankful for that, he wants to be able to hear what Louis is saying and being able to talk to him without having to shout. He sighs, nodding as he sips his beer.

“Yes, it is. I just can’t help it Louis, he is so gorgeous. I just want to talk to him!”

Louis grunts, he takes a big sip of his beer before putting it down in front of him on the table. The pint looks even bigger in his small hands.

“Then why won’t you talk to him? Haz, it’s not as if he’s going to punch you in the face for starting a conversation. You’ve talked to him before.”

“That was different.” Harry comments with a little pout because it was. “I mean, he _had_ to talk to me, he needed help and I work there. Now, this would be… different. Maybe he is not into dudes chatting him up in a library.” He stops, suddenly feeling his blood turn to ice and he gasps a little as he meets Louis’ eyes. “Oh god, what if he’s not into guys? Lou, what if I’m crushing on a straight guy!”

Louis rolls his eyes. He has learned to not be worried about these kind of things but Harry thinks that is unfair, only because he has _never_ had a crush on a straight guy and then he met Niall and now he is married and have everything settled for him. It’s just Harry that is alone and single, and that has multiple times ended up crushing on straight boys. Mostly in his teenage years though, one could add, but _still_.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“You can’t know that for sure though.” Harry mutters. “And anyway, I just don’t know how to start talking to him. I mean he is so pretty, Louis. I am not even sure if he is human, and how do I talk to someone like that?”

“You’re pretty too.” Louis tries to help. Harry sticks his tongue out.

“You’re only saying that because we’re best friends. It’s a mother’s kind of comment, it’s not a real compliment. You have to think that I’m pretty, if you don’t you are breaking the rules.”

Louis looks as if he wants to say that Harry’s rules are crap, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he focuses on his beer for a few moments before sighing.

“You have to talk to him though, if you don’t you will keep ending up in pubs with me, complaining about how you can’t seem to talk to him and maybe, maybe he will stop coming into the library! And then you will have just lost. Do you want that Haz? Really?”

Harry groans, hating when Louis says things like this because he is right, he knows that he is right but it’s just not that easy. Not everyone works the way Louis does, Louis who so easily can talk to anyone and charm them off their feet within minutes. Harry is awkward. Louis is not.

“But how do I do that?” He asks again, which gives him another sigh and eye roll from Louis.

“Well, do you need to get some help from Niall as well? I feel like I can’t help you on my own.”

Harry nods, finishing his beer a bit too quickly.

“Yes please.”

Louis grins and gets up, throwing a few quids on the table for tips.

“Okay then, let’s get back home, Niall should be back from work now anyway.”

 

**

 

Harry loves the Tomlinson-Horan house. It’s not very big, not for a house, but it is _way_ bigger than Harry’s apartment and it is just cozy. Harry can just picture a couple of kids there soon, wondering when that will actually happen. Right now though, Niall and Louis seems pretty fine with being just them.

Well them, and very often Harry sleeping on their couch when he doesn’t want to be alone.

Niall is home when they get there, getting himself a pre-dinner snack that has Louis rolling his eyes before Niall pulls Harry into a hug.

“Harry, man! It was ages since I saw you last.”

“You saw him two days ago.” Louis corrects him, Niall shaking his head and hugging Harry again.

“Feels like ages ago. How have you been Mr. Styles?”

Harry groans, shedding his coat and putting it over a chair before shaking his head hard enough so that his curls dance.

“Please don’t call me Mr. Styles, I feel so very old.”

Niall smiles but he doesn’t say anything else.

“So, to what do we own the pleasure? And did you go to the pub without me?” He kisses Louis’ cheek, Louis smiling fondly as he does and Harry bites down on his lower lip.

“We did, sorry.”

Niall lets out a gasp as if they have just stabbed him in the back but then he laughs.

“That’s fine. So what is the problem, considering you are drinking without me mates?”

Louis sighs, nodding in Harry’s direction.

“Library boy.”

Niall sighs as well, shaking his head.

“Still? Harry, you have to talk to him. If not…”

“I know!” Harry complains. “But I just don’t know how Niall, that is the problem.”

Niall puts his arm around Harry’s shoulders.

“Harry, did I ever tell you about the time I first met Louis? No? Let me tell you then.”

Harry is led into the living room, seated in one of the comfortable sofas before Niall starts telling him.

Harry has heard the story more times than he can count, but he doesn’t really mind because Niall looks adorable each time he tells it. His face light up (more than usual) making him look like happy, Irish fairy who tells a story filled with pixie dust and joy. The actual story isn’t that filled with joy, but he doesn’t really seem to care about that. To Niall it is, and Louis almost always sits there with his little half smile, looking very fond as his husband tells Harry once again about how they met.

It was the game of the century according to Niall, and a somewhat interesting game according to experts and the general public. England vs Ireland, all sold out and Niall had travelled there with his mates and all looking to a great game. He hadn’t planned to meet Louis, the loud and obnoxious England supporter, but that he did. Well meet is a bit of a wrong saying, stumbled over him more likely. And spilling half his beer in the process. In Louis’ lap.

Niall had stuttered out apologies until he saw the colors of Louis’ shirt, then the apologies had stopped and he had been more than happy to spill his beer (even though it was sad to lose all that beer) in the lap of an England supporter. Then he had met Louis’ eyes though, ice cold blue and a thin line that was his mouth, and with the soft hair and cheekbones, Niall had suddenly gone back to feeling a bit sad about spilling his beer. The guy was seriously gorgeous. Very, very, extremely, seriously gorgeous.

He had gone back to stuttering apologies, trying to see if he could make it up to him while enduring mean and nasty sassy comments from Louis about stupid Irish pricks and that his vans would never be the same.

“I fell in love right then and there.” Niall says proudly, all while Louis shakes his head with a little laugh.

“You big idiot, no you didn’t.” He says, but his eyes are fond, fonder than usual and Harry is jealous about how they make the whole love thing seem so easy.

“No, you’re right.” Niall says with a little sigh. Louis looks pleased.

“Exactly.”

“… when you sucked me off in my car after the game, that’s when I knew I…”

“Niall!” Louis protests with laughter, throwing a pillow at him as if Harry doesn’t already know about the parking lot blowjob. He’s heard about that more times than he can count as well.

“Not to bother your friendly marriage banter…” Harry interrupts when he can see that he is on his way of ending up in the middle of another Tomlinson-Horan pillow fight. “But can we please help me out here? I still have no idea on how to talk to him. I can’t just walk up to him and spill my beer on him while he is there. First of all, drinks aren’t allowed inside the library. Especially not alcoholic ones.”

Niall looks up, before patting the spot next to him on the couch.

“Come here mate.”

Harry sighs and sits down, cuddling up to Niall’s side, Louis on his other side.

“He is just so cute.” He sighs, shaking his head. “And he reads just the books I would read. And he doesn’t seem to talk much but when he does… wow, his voice is just… wow. I just want to know everything about him. You know what I mean?”

Louis pats his back.

“I know, Hazza love, but babe, if you don’t do anything about it all that will happen is that you will stay here on our couch forever and talk about it, and you won’t get to go on a date with him, or get to know him at all. You have to make the first move.”

“I just don’t want to look like an idiot and ruin it.” Harry sighs, causing Niall to complain loudly.

“Hey mate, did you just hear my story? I spilled a beer over Louis the first time we met and look where we are now. Mate, you will do fine. You’ve got it all, charms and curls and all the things mystery library guys wants, I’m sure of it. Just go over to him one day and flirt.”

“Next time you see him, you go over to him and say hi.” Louis decides for Harry. “No discussion, you will do this. If not, we will both kick you in the butt and that will hurt. So please, just talk to him.”

“Reduce butt kicking.” Niall agrees and Harry sighs, shaking his head even though he can’t help but smile a little.

“How will you know I’ll talk to him the next time I see him though? I could lie.” He says and Louis rolls his eyes.

“You wouldn’t lie to us, and anyway this isn’t for us, it’s for you so can you please just do it? We don’t want to see you here again moping and being miserable over this guy.”

Harry sighs again, before raising his hands in surrender.

“Okay, fine. I will talk to him I promise. I promise. If he comes in while I’m there, I will walk up to him and tell him my name and try to start a conversation. And maybe ask him out.”

“Maybe you can blow him in the parking lot, or maybe that’s just things Louis does…”

“ _Niall_!”

 

**

 

Next day at work, Harry is so nervous he almost forgets to eat his lunch. Zayn doesn’t show up and Harry is a bit worried, maybe Zayn has found another library or turned to e-books because lots of people do nowadays, but no. Zayn doesn’t really look like the person who wants to read books of a tablet, Zayn looks like someone who is like Harry, wanting to feel the paper, the material and the smell of old and new books and… Harry gets lost for a moment just thinking about books and Zayn, and how Zayn must look when he reads his books all curled up in bed. He almost misses when Zayn _actually_ enters the library, quietly walking past the doors even though his walk is very model-like.

Maybe he is a model, Harry must ask him that.

He takes a deep breath as Zayn heads into the section that has books with autobiographies and other stuff equal to that. This is it, the library is basically empty and he needs to talk to him now, before his boss shows up and have him do something, or before someone else asks him for help or advice. He takes another deep breath, and a couple of more before he heads over to Zayn. Zayn is standing in front of one of the shelves, running his fingers over the back of the books, looking at them all. Harry clears his throat, causing the other to flinch as he turns around.

“Oh, shit sorry, you scared me.” Zayn comments with a little laugh, and suddenly everything seems easy again. Harry lets out a relieved sigh.

“I did? Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s fine, no harm done this time.” Zayn smiles and nods to the books on the shelves. “Just got a bit lost in Dickens.”

“Dickens is good.” Harry says, and wow, this isn’t going that bad, he’s sad like five words already and he hasn’t puked or tripped or done anything stupid to scare Zayn away. This is good.

“He’s my favorite.” Zayn comments with a content sigh, staring at the book again and Harry suddenly feels nervous again, because he isn’t sure on what to say.

“Uhm… mine too.” He decides to say, even though Dickens isn’t his favorite but it’s not as if he _hates_ Dickens, he just prefers the Bronte sisters over him, but it’s not something he has to tell Zayn right now and especially not when he wants this conversation to lead to something at least remotely close to a date. Situation. _Thing_.

“That’s cool.” Zayn’s eyes lit up as if Harry just told him the meaning of life, and Harry has to add a happy looking Zayn to the list of things he is very happy that he got to experience at least once in his life. “You must read a lot, huh? Since you work here. I’m Zayn by the way, I don’t think I said that.”

Harry has to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from saying _I know_. Instead he smiles, running his fingers through his hair.

“I’m Harry. I do read a lot actually, it’s my favorite thing to do in the world. That’s why I became a librarian.”

“Would be kind of a shit job if you hated books, I’m sure.” Zayn chuckles, shaking his head as his eyes still sparkle, actually sparkle and Harry wonders how someone can look that good. It’s just not fair. Not at all. “I wouldn’t mind working here, but right now I have to settle with working as a barista. Maybe one time though I will work with books, or teach English.”

“Is that your dream?” Harry asks before he can stop himself, not sure if asking about dreams is a bit too soon considering they are just starting to talk, but dreams fascinate him. Zayn doesn’t seem to mind Harry being nosy, because he nods.

“Yeah… I guess so. I want to write. I want to teach. I just want to… do something, you know? Not just serve coffee.” He laughs awkwardly, scratching his neck as if he wonders why he just blurted that out. “Oh well uhm, I should head back because I only have a short break and I need to borrow these books.”

“Sure.” Harry says, watching Zayn give him a smile and head to the machines with two books, before Harry rushes over to him. “Wait… I… uhm…”

Zayn looks up, a bit confused but amused at the same time.

“Hm?”

“Well… since we both like Dickens and… you serve coffee… and I… work at a library… I mean, maybe we could… get some coffee sometime and… talk about books.” Harry manages to stammer out and wow, he must sound so stupid and he is so happy Niall and Louis can’t see him right now. They would laugh at him. Oh god, they would laugh at him so hard. Zayn will probably laugh at him right now because Harry is such an idiot. Great job, Harry.

Zayn doesn’t laugh though, he just smiles softly.

“Sounds nice. How about Sunday? I’m off then and I know you should be because the library is closed on Sundays.”

“Sunday will be fine.” Harry says quickly, as if he is afraid that Zayn will change his mind if they don’t decide on it quick enough. Zayn smiles. It’s a nice smile, Harry can’t quite figure out if it is a polite smile or a smile to show how happy he is about all of this. He hopes it’s the second option though, it would suck if he would come off as a pesky librarian basically forcing people to go on a date with him.

He probably shouldn’t call it a date though. It would be too much.

“I’ll see you then, here, take my number.” Zayn adds before he is leaving, scribbling his phone number on a little piece of paper and wow, his handwriting is perfect as well. Harry wonders how this person is real.

“See you.” He says quietly as Zayn leaves, squeezing the little piece of paper in his hand so hard he only realizes after a few moment he might smudge the number.

 

**

 

“It is totally a date.” Niall decides. “Coffee, meeting up for coffee and talking about your interests is a date. He agreed to go on a date with you! See this isn’t so bad.”

“I can’t believe you lied about Charles Dickens.” Louis shakes his head but he smiles big as he meets Harry’s eyes. “And I agree with the blond one, I think it is a date.”

“It is not a date.” Harry says with flushed cheeks, even though he really, really, really wants it to be a date because a date would be so nice to have. Especially with someone like Zayn. But for all he knows, Zayn might just usually go get coffee with people he meets in libraries and it doesn’t have to mean anything else than just… coffee. Between friends. He doesn’t want to jump to conclusions. “Come on guys, we’re just getting coffee and I don’t want to make it seem like something else, I don’t even know if he is into men.”

“Everyone can be into men, men are great.” Niall nods as if it’s that easy. Harry knows it isn’t, but he doesn’t want to argue with it right now because he’s got more important things on his mind than that.

“Okay, but what should I wear?” He asks instead because this is the real problem here. Louis smiles, looking very amused as he meets Harry’s eye.

“You mean to your non-date? Do we have to care about wardrobe choices to non-dates?”

“Well excuse me, not everyone can go around dressed in Adidas and still look great.” Harry sticks his tongue out at Louis which has Niall laughing, kissing Louis’ cheek.

“And he looks smashing while wearing it, doesn’t he? Best husband in the world.”

“You’re a fool.” Louis smiles fondly before he sneaks a kiss from Niall. Harry pretends to be very disturbed by this and grimaces.

“Gross. Please help me pick out something to wear instead. Or should I buy something new? This guy always looks perfect, I will look bland next to him no matter what I wear.” Harry sighs, suddenly realizing this but it doesn’t really matter because he gets to spend time with Zayn. Actually talking to him. Not… watching him. Louis watches Harry for a moment, as if he is trying to decide what he could dress Harry in.

“You could probably not fail if you wear those ridiculously tight jeans and a cozy sweater, if you let your hair loose it will be just fine.” He nods and Niall quickly agrees.

“Yes man, you don’t really need anything else. You will knock him off his feet. I think there will be a coffee shop blowjob in your future, my dear Hazza.”

“Shut up.” Harry groans. His dick does _not_ twitch at the thought of Zayn’s lips around his cock. Not at all. “We’re just having coffee and talking about Charles Dickens. Shit, I should probably re-read some of his books.”

“Yep, don’t want to come off as a fake Dickens fan.” Louis muses before he squeezes Harry’s arm gently. “It will be okay Harold, stop being so nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.” Harry says, but his voice is quite a bit more high pitched than it usually is. “You are nervous. I am fine.”

Niall rolls his eyes.

“And what will you wear?”

Harry might be a bit nervous.

 

**

 

Three minutes into his non-date with Zayn, Harry realizes that keeping up a conversation with this one will be very difficult. He keeps getting lost in his eyes, and good looks, and basically his voice and everything that is… Zayn. Zayn talks about Dickens, and coffee, and how the coffee place they are visiting could have used different coffee beans, and Harry is lost. He can’t keep track, he stumbles over his own words and he is pretty sure he is making a fool out of himself.

He needs to get a grip. He can’t just sit there and stare at the other man, he will think he is crazy and that was not something he planned.

“Anyway, how many books do you read in a year?” Zayn asks and Harry forces himself to not think about Zayn’s eyes for a couple of minutes and actually reply with real words, not just stuttering excuses for words.

“Quite a lot.” He admits, drinking his coffee slowly. It has started to cool down, which is good, he constantly keeps getting a burnt tongue on the coffee he drinks and now it’s just the perfect temperature. “I loved reading from the second I was born, my mum tends to tell me. I was just obsessed with books.”

“Same thing here.” Zayn sighs happily, as if thinking about books is enough to please him. Harry wonders what else can get him to look so happy. He wants to find out all of it. Maybe in time. “I can’t even remember a time when I didn’t have books around me, so I think it’s fair to say I started early.”

“We were smart kids.” Harry says with a warm smile and Zayn returns the smile, and Harry feels his heart do a little flip in his chest and it’s not fair how easy it is for Zayn to affect him like this. Not at all.

“How long have you worked at the library then?” Zayn asks and Harry has to think about it to not lie without meaning to.

“Uhm… 3… no, 4 years now. Wow, it feels like it was yesterday I started.”

“I just moved here.” Zayn says, which explains why it’s just recently Harry has started to see him at the library. “Broke up with my boyfriend and wanted a fresh start so here I am. I like the library though, it’s a nice one.”

“Yeah it is.” Harry desperately tries to focus on the part of what Zayn is saying that is about the library and not the fact that he is telling Harry about breaking up with boyfriends. He really wants to jump up from his chair and do cartwheels though; Zayn is into boys and Harry is very lucky. And happy.

Not that him being into boys means he could be into Harry, but it’s way easier to imagine it happening now than it had been if he had been straight.

“Sucks that you broke up with your boyfriend though, breakups are tough.” He remembers to add though, because it’s good to be considerate and kind, and Zayn seems to appreciate it because he smiles.

“It’s fine, he was a dick anyway. I am much happier now, even though it’s lonely sometimes you know? But hey, got my books when I’m not off doing photo shoots.”

Hah, so he is some kind of model. Harry deserves a medal.

“You’re a model? For what?” He asks, and that has Zayn laughing.

“Oh god no, I’m not a model. I am a photographer. I mean spare time. When I’m not working at the coffee shop or trying to write. I wish I was a model though but not pretty enough.” He blinks, and Harry can’t stop himself. There is just so much to Zayn, as if he is a mystery and Harry can’t wait to find out all there is to him.

“Excuse me? You are gorgeous.”

He blushes as soon as it’s out and fuck, well that was a nice normal comment. Zayn smiles though, the tip of his tongue quickly licking his lower lip.

“Thank you. That’s sweet of you.”

Harry blushes again, but then it’s like his tongue lives its own life because he keeps asking questions he probably shouldn’t blurt out, but he can’t help himself.

“Really… why aren’t you a model? You… I mean, you look really good.” He says, and that makes Zayn look down into his cup, maybe to hide a blush of his own, Harry hopes so. Also wishes he could see it, but still.

“I don’t know, I guess I just don’t think I’m… good enough to try.” Zayn murmurs and his whole body seems to get a bit tense, and Harry realizes he must have stepped into some touchy subjects and that he should quickly change the subject unless he wants Zayn to leave.

“Do you have a dog?”

Zayn looks up as if he is surprised with the question and then he starts laughing.

“That’s random. No, I don’t have a dog.”

“Me either.” Harry sighs dramatically before smiling a little. “I am trying to make my friends get a dog, but they refuse. Louis says it’s enough to have Niall, that’s his husband.”

Zayn giggles softly and shakes his head.

“Is your friend saying his husband is a dog?”

“Maybe, maybe.” Harry nods and Zayn keeps smiling.

Harry might be a tad in love with his smile. Just a little.

“Do you think there’s anything good at the restaurant down the street?” Harry asks after a while, voice a bit slow and deep now as he hopes Zayn will take the hint. Zayn smiles, reaching for his leather jacket.

“Maybe we should find out.”

 

**

 

Harry has three text messages, all from Louis, when he and Zayn finally leave the restaurant after eating so much food Harry think he might explode from it. As they part, Zayn gives Harry a hug that can be nothing but friendly and Harry hugs him back, before watching him go. He can’t help the little happy sigh escaping his lips. It’s so lovely to hang out with Zayn. Zayn is so lovely. He almost doesn’t even want to check his phone but he does anyway, grunting as he reads Louis’ texts.

**_“HOW DID IT GO STYLES YOU BIG NON-TELLER”_ **

**_“Or are you still with him?? Did you have sex?????”_ **

**_“5 hours is a long coffee date Hazza you better start replying to my texts soon!! Or end of friendship.”_ **

Harry types out a reply, hitting send before even thinking about it.

**_“You are horrible and it was NICE. No sex. We are just friends hanging out!”_ **

Louis must be waiting by his phone because it doesn’t take long at all for Harry to hear his phone buzzing to signal a new text coming in.

**_“You suck, tell me everything next time we meet and WHEN ARE YOU MEETING HIM AGAIN HAROLD”_ **

Harry laughs, shaking his head at the phone before he decides to not reply to Louis’ text, not right now anyway. He can wait a couple of hours as Harry go home to lay on his bed and listen to The Script while thinking about Zayn.

 

It really would be okay, he thinks as he lay there, lazily running his fingers over his chest as he thinks about Zayn and their day together. It would be okay to just be friends with him because he was really nice and they seem to have so much in common. He doesn’t need the love per se, even though that would be… nice as well. More than nice.

Okay so maybe he would be very okay with this turning into something else but Zayn is seriously probably out of his league, but at least he had told Harry he thought it was a great day which means he can’t have hated their day together. The thought of it makes Harry smile. He is just falling into a state of daydreaming and relaxation as he hears his phone buzzing again, texts from Louis coming in again.

**_“You are the WORST.”_ **

**_“How dare you ignore me Harold.”_ **

**_“I WILL KILL YOU UNLESS YOU ANSWER ME I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND EVER”_ **

**_“Hazza. Hazza. HAZZA”_ **

Harry just smiles, laughing a little before turning his phone off. Louis can wait until tomorrow, because having him wait and getting annoyed can be very funny sometimes. And these memories Harry want to keep to himself.

 

 

**

 

The next time Zayn walks into the library is three days after their coffee meeting, and it makes Harry smile. Zayn hasn’t texted him or anything, and Harry hasn’t texted him either; unsure on what the rules for contact is when you are not actually dating, but it doesn’t seem to have caused any trouble that they didn’t keep in contact. Zayn smiles as he notices him, waving a little as Harry waves back, and Zayn only makes a quick stop at one of the shelves before he makes his way over to Harry.

“Hi.” He says with a soft voice, and it makes Harry’s heart want to jump out of his chest. It doesn’t though, which Harry is very thankful for because he is pretty sure that ‘Librarian’s heart jumping out of chest creating panic at local library’ is not a headline he wants to see in the paper.

“Hey there.” He says instead, hoping his voice is calm and normal, and not weird in any way. “Already finished the books?”

Zayn laughs, nodding before brushing his hair out of his face with the back of his hand.

“Yeah, I did. Hey, I had a great time last time.”

“So did I.” Harry can’t help but smile even bigger, and that seems to make Zayn happy because a happy smile spreads on his face too. “Maybe we should do it again.”

Zayn nods at that so quickly that Harry can’t help but bite down on his lower lip, because it’s easy to think that it means that Zayn might be feeling something for him as well and even though it seems like a dream, Harry would like that so much.

“How about dinner at that pub in the corner of the street? I’ve always wanted to go there.” Zayn says and now it’s Harry’s turn to nod quickly.

“Sounds great. When do you have time?”

Zayn laughs, and his smile is so beautiful, Harry wonders if he can get that tattoo tattooed on his chest.

“Well, pretty much every night this week. You wanna go tomorrow?”

“I am free tomorrow.” Harry says, and then they just look at each other before Zayn blushes softly, it’s just a hint of a blush and if Harry didn’t watch his face so closely he would probably have missed it. But thankfully he doesn’t, he notices it.

“It’s a date, then.” Zayn whispers, smile still on his lips before he turns around, grabbing his books and leaves.

Harry might have to sit down for a couple of minutes after hearing that word coming from Zayn’s mouth. Might have to sit down. Maybe. Most probably.

 

**

 

“You can’t hide this from us anymore, it is a date and you are dating!” Niall exclaims and Harry can’t do anything else than to try to hide the biggest grin of the century.

“Yeah. Maybe. I think so.”

“It is you sly dog let me hug you!” Niall chuckles before pulling Harry into a tight hug that almost has him choking on air a little, before the other lets go of him. Louis is rolling his eyes.

“Niall babe, you’re gonna kill him before he actually does get to that date, be careful with him.”

“He can handle it.” Niall nods before he walks over to Louis, wrapping his arms around him. “Maybe you’re just jealous you didn’t get the love from these lovely hugs of mine, am I right?”

“You’re such a fool.” Louis says but he easily falls back against Niall, settling in his arms while Harry jumps up on the kitchen counter, hands grasping the sides of it.

“So this is different. I mean, now I really should treat it like a date, right? Do I pay? Do I let him pay?” He furrows his eyebrows, suddenly very unsure about everything. “I don’t know who asked who out. This is a mess. What if I try to pay and then he gets offended? I can’t offend him guys!”

The look on his face must be a look of horror, but it still has the other two bursting out in laughter as they watch him.

“You need to chill, love.” Louis shakes his head. “I doubt you will offend him if you pay.”

“Maybe it isn’t even a real date…” Harry starts but Niall takes a step forward, shaking his head.

“Oh no, mister. We are not going to have this discussion again. This is a date, a real date. Like a date between future lovers who will enjoy the company of one another and we are not forgetting that. It’s a date.”

“But… what if he only said it’s a date to be like… because that’s what people says!” Harry says, going cold inside as he starts to think about it. Maybe he really jumped to conclusions, maybe Zayn doesn’t want to date at all. At least not date him. Louis walks over to him, pulling him into a calming hug and soon Niall is there as well, wrapping long arms around both of them.

“Hey, no freaking out, I won’t allow it.” Louis mumbles and Harry closes his eyes, trying to calm everything inside of him that is right now screaming to him that he should freak out. It helps, the soothing voice of Louis and both of his best friends’ arms around him has that effect on him. He can’t be freaked out for long. He takes a deep breath, smiling softly as they part, still smiling as he look from Louis to Niall.

“Thank you. No freaking out. Or trying not to.”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” Niall says suddenly, snapping his fingers as if he just solved all the world’s mysteries in one thought. “How about Louis and I come with? It doesn’t have to be obvious, we can just accidentally end up being in the same pub and then you still have your privacy, but we can be your extra set of eyes to see if this is a date or just friends eating. Isn’t this the best idea?!”

He looks really excited, which is quite in contrast to Louis, who looks a bit skeptical about the whole thing. Harry feels skeptical as well, wondering what they could really see if they won’t be close, because he doesn’t want to have to introduce them and risk that Zayn wants them to join, but then again…

“Come on.” Niall pouts, as if he can see that Harry is thinking too hard about this. He is right. “It will be great. We don’t even have to be seen, like, you don’t have to see us we will just be… there and we can go on a date of our own!” He adds excitedly, taking Louis’ hand. “Lou baby, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Louis rolls his eyes before chuckling.

“Hmmm, a date where you want to take me to stalk our best friend and his date, how romantic Niall, I can truly see why I decided to marry you.”

“You can, isn’t that right?” Niall says with an amused smile and Harry can’t help but laugh, they are both stupid and he loves them.

“Fine okay, but don’t be seen!” Harry agrees, raising his finger in a warning gesture. “I don’t want this ruined because you want to try this, I don’t want him to think I am bringing some… backups, as if he was an axe murderer or something.”

“Harry, relax.” Niall says, putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder before squeezing it reassuringly. “You won’t even know we’re there. He won’t know we’re there. It will all be great.”

“I trust you.” Harry smiles and Niall looks as if he just got the biggest reward of all. Harry hopes he won’t regret this.

 

Harry is deeply regretting letting Niall and Louis tag along. Too many beers seems to add to Niall and Louis being a bit more loud than he had planned to, and even though no one that doesn’t know that they know each other would figure it out, it’s still a bit distracting to try to not look over at them whenever he hears them say something. He really wants to focus on Zayn though, because Zayn showed up dressed in a black jacket and fancy boots and jeans glued on to his body, and he also pulls Harry close to kiss his cheek before whispering. “Tonight dinner is on me, okay? I asked you out.” and it has Harry soaring the skies for a good ten minutes before he can even focus on sitting down on a chair by the table they picked.

“I don’t think I’ve been on a date since I broke up with Liam.” Zayn admits as they are both seated and looking through the menu, and Harry can’t help but feel his stomach do a little happy flip. Louis and Niall seems to listen in on their conversation because they are giving him a thumbs up and Harry wants them to leave now because he doesn’t need them anymore. They don’t though, and Harry guesses he can’t really go tell people he isn’t supposed to know that they should leave a pub everyone can be at.

“It’s been a while for me too.” He says softly, he can’t help but smile as he looks a Zayn. “But… this is nice.”

“It is.” Zayn agrees. They look at each other for a couple of moments before Harry clears his throat.

“Okay, beer? I can get us the first round.” He is half offering because he wants to, and also half offering because that would give him a reason to go to the bar and maybe tell Niall and Louis that they are not needed anymore and that maybe they should go home before they end up making a fool out of him.

“Yes, thank you.” Zayn says with a smile and Harry gets up, slowly walking over to the bar, careful to not stumble and fall over any other guests there. Niall is at the bar too, waving to Harry as he sees him there.

“Styles! He’s gorgeous, good going. I approve.”

“Thanks.” Harry murmurs, trying to not look too much at Niall since it shouldn’t be obvious they know each other, in case Zayn looks over at them. “So… really, maybe it is not necessary for you guys to be here anymore now? You can go home.” He says hopefully, but that just makes Niall laugh.

“No, are you kidding me? We haven’t been out like this in ages and I want to see how it goes for you, I am excited.” With a chuckle he pats Harry’s back before grabbing the beers he got for himself and Louis and then makes his way back to their table.

Harry sighs. He pays for the drinks for him and Zayn, taking the beers back as he is careful so he won’t spill the drinks everywhere, putting the pint down in front of Zayn.

“Here.” He smiles as he sits down, tasting his own beer. “Did you find anything you like?”

Zayn smiles and looks at Harry, and Harry hope he isn’t imagining the way he thinks Zayn is looking at him, as if that’s what he likes, but then again Zayn doesn’t say anything so Harry can’t hope for too much.

“Maybe just a chicken burger.” Zayn says and Harry agrees, they do have great chicken burgers. They order and as their food arrive, they are talking and Harry is again having such a nice time he is almost forgetting that Niall and Louis are probably at the next table, listening in to all they are saying.

“So… where do you live?” Zayn asks suddenly after chewing his way through a couple of fries. Harry looks up, raising an eyebrow because it does sound like Zayn wants to know for a reason and that makes Zayn laugh.

“Sorry, sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just… interested in how people live.” He says with an excusing smile, and it makes Harry laugh.

“That’s okay, I live in a flat and it’s not that fancy at all, but I guess it’s good enough for me. What about you?”

Zayn smiles and wipes his mouth on a napkin before he replies.

“Kinda the same actually, a small space, it was a bit hard to get used to because I used to have this big flat with… yeah you know, but now it’s just me so I guess I have to get used to no extra room.” He says and Harry can really relate to that.

“I still think it sounds lovely.” He says with a warm smile, and that makes Zayn chuckle.

“Well maybe you should see it someday.” Zayn says quietly and it makes Harry blush, and then Zayn is blushing and apparently Louis and Niall heard it because Harry can hear Niall’s low _‘ooooh’_ coming from the other table.

Harry shouldn’t look up, he really shouldn’t but he does and he regrets it immediately as soon as he notices Niall and Louis.

Behind Zayn’s back, Harry catches Niall’s eyes, and Niall looks back at Harry, doing a flick of his wrist as he motions a hand job, suggestively wriggling his eyebrows.

Harry _hates_ him.

He clears his throat, going back to focus on Zayn and only Zayn, and not the two idiots behind them who he once called friends and now is very close to cutting off from his life if they keep acting like this. For real.

It doesn’t last long though because it seems as if his friends are leaving, Louis taking both their coats before helping Niall up from his chair as they both just wave to Harry before leaving. Harry takes a relieved breath.

With his friends gone, Harry can focus on Zayn and when they finish eating and getting ready to leave, Harry feels really sad about it all, kind of wishing he could stay with Zayn all night but he is not pushing his luck with that.

“So… will there be another date?” Harry asks shyly as they stay outside the pub, Zayn has lit a cigarette and Harry hadn’t picture Zayn as someone to smoke but he makes it look almost hot. This surprises Harry because he doesn’t really approve of smoking, and he hates when Louis does. Zayn smiles, cigarette in his left hand as he nods.

“Yes, I had a great time with you.”

“So did I. I mean. With you.” Harry says awkwardly and Zayn smiles again before leaning forward and softly pressing his lips against Harry’s.

The kiss catches Harry by surprise, and that’s why he almost doesn’t have time to process the fact that Zayn is kissing him, he is being kissed by Zayn, before Zayn pulls away with a goofy smile on his lips now as he licks his lips slowly. Harry tries not to look disappointed that the kiss is already over, he felt Zayn’s soft lips and it was nice but he wanted more, wanted to truly know what Zayn’s lips tasted like.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” Zayn asks with a tilted head and Harry nods quickly, trying to not look like an idiot as he realizes he actually just kissed Zayn.

“Mhm, yes I’ll text you.”

 

**

 

“Oh come on Harry it wasn’t that bad.” Niall smirks. “And by the way he is really pretty so good for you!”

Harry glares at him. Louis looks like he is having trouble staying serious. He isn’t laughing yet though, but Harry knows the familiar wrinkling around Louis’ eyes when he is trying to hold back laughter, and today is no different.

“Don’t.” Harry shakes his head. “Those gestures really wasn’t necessary Niall, he could have noticed you and I would have looked like a creep!”

“I think it would be Niall that would look like a creep, I mean, making crude gestures to people in pubs, not a good thing.” Louis comments with a little laugh now slipping past his lips and Harry glares at him as well.

“And then what, I would pretend to not know who you are and then I would have to hide our friendship, making it look like I have absolutely no friends? Not a smart idea Lou.”

Louis laughs out loudly then, his bright laughter filling the room.

“Haz, it wasn’t that bad and nothing happened. I mean, it wasn’t like he said he wouldn’t see you again, right?”

Harry shakes his head and then foolishly smiles, and blushes a little as he look at the others.

“No… he kind of kissed me.”

Niall drops the pen he is holding and Louis stares at Harry as if Harry has just offended his mother.

“Excuse me? He kissed you? _He_ kissed _you_? And you’ve been hiding this?!” Louis practically bounces and looks ready to punch Harry just for keeping this information from him, and Niall shakes his head.

“Styles. Styles. You can’t hide these things. How was it? Did you use tongue? Did he touch your ass?” Niall asks with a wriggle of his eyebrows and Harry blushes and grunts, wanting to not talk about this anymore even though he also really wants to talk about it.

“No, no touching, no tongue, it was just a quick kiss but… it was nice.” He keeps that foolish smile on his face because really, there’s not much else he can do and it makes him happy to think about the fact that Zayn actually kissed him. Zayn with gorgeous lips and perfect laugh and nice complexion. Zayn with the hair that looks soft and the arms that Harry wants to be in for a long time. Zayn.

“You are unbelievable.” Louis shakes his head but the he is laughing, pulling Harry into a hug as if the whole thing makes him almost happier than it makes Harry. “Congrats mate, I know you’ve been wanting this forever.”

“Been needing it more likely.” Niall adds. “Because honestly Hazza, when was the last time you pulled?”

Harry is almost back to hating him again.

“Shut up.” He mutters, cheeks red before he looks away. “Anyway, he wants to see me again. That’s good right? Right? I mean that means I… did good?”

Louis pulls him into a hug, sighing in his ear.

“Yes, Haz, you did good. Please stop overthinking and doubting yourself. He likes you, he wouldn’t have kissed you if he didn’t like you and you know it. Now just enjoy the moment! This is exciting, I mean, a new love! New loves are always so exciting and…”

“Heeey excuse me, husband standing right here.” Niall complains, a little pout forming on his lips as he watches Louis. “Are you suggesting that I am not exciting Lou, huh?”

Louis laughs, a bright clear laugh before he walks over to Niall and kisses him softly.

“You are exciting, I promise. Just… in a different way.” He excuses himself and Niall keeps pouting.

“Shitty liar, you.”

Harry grunts, trying to act offended.

“Please get a room before I end up being in the middle of a sexual act, please and thank you.”

“But Harry.” Niall raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly. “Maybe it will give you some tips for the next date with Zayn?”

Harry _hates_ him.

 

**

 

Harry spends the next few days wondering when the proper time is to contact Zayn again because sadly, Zayn doesn’t show up at the library for a couple of days. Harry tries to not obsess over it and be worried that he isn’t into him anymore, because he feels like he has more important things to worry about than that. Like how to even top the last date. That however, he only thinks about for a second because it must be easy to top a pub dinner where he was nervous half the time about his friends showing that they were there. He just isn’t sure if he should contact Zayn or wait for Zayn to contact him. What if they are both waiting and it turns into a waiting game and Zayn will never be heard from again? Harry sighs, wondering if maybe he should just text and get it over with. Maybe after work.

He decides on doing just that and then works his afternoon shift, trying to decide on what to text when Zayn suddenly shows up again, just as surprising as he always does. He is smiling the second he notices Harry, and Harry’s stomach flips. He really should stop this, but he is having the biggest crush on the other man and he can’t really stop himself.

“Hi there.” He says with a soft voice as Zayn comes over after picking out some books, Harry can’t see what kind of books it is but it looks interesting. “Been a while.”

“Got busy with work and stuff.” Zayn sighs, shaking his head as he then glances up at Harry with a little smile. “How have you been?”

“Good.” Harry nods, trying desperately to come up with something to say. “I’ve been working too.”

They look at each other for a moment, before Zayn clears his throat.

“I kind of really want to see you again.” Zayn says as he runs his fingers over the books he is currently holding in his hands. He looks excited but in a laid back way, like his eyes almost sparkle but you can only see it if you look closely. Harry is glad he can look so closely at Zayn.

“Yeah, I want that too.” Harry breathes out, realizing that he almost held his breath in for excitement that Zayn wants to see him again. “You know…” He looks around, an idea suddenly forming in his head. “How about you come back tonight? I will close at 7 and we can meet up.”

“Yes, sure, that sounds great.” Zayn says, even though he has no idea what Harry could have planned. It makes Harry smile. He nods patting the books in a joking way.

“Now take these babies home and I’ll see you tonight, off you go.” He chuckles lightly and Zayn can’t help but snort either, followed by a giggle.

“Okay then, I’ll be back. Expect me by closing time.”

“Dramatic.” Harry says, before he forces himself to go back to focus on work until his break, where he starts preparing the date with Zayn tonight.

 

He plans a picnic, not a normal picnic. Knowing that they both like books, Harry gets the idea that they should do this in a library, because a) it’s private and b) not as cold as going outside for a picnic. It takes him a while to find enough good things for a picnic though, especially when you are working and only have short breaks, but after 6 it’s very quiet and Harry has time to, in secret, set everything up.

 

Zayn shows up right after 7, Harry meets him outside with a grin and Zayn looks adorable, dressed in a coat and scarf with tight jeans, extremely tight Harry can’t help but notice as Zayn takes the stairs up to the library two steps at the time, fabric straining over knees and thighs.

“I’m not late am I?” Zayn asks, looking worried and Harry quickly shakes his head.

“No you’re not, just in time. I figured we were going to spend the night in here, in the library.” Suddenly he is a bit worried Zayn will think that is extremely lame, but Zayn smiles softly as he hears that.

“Really? Night at the library? Wow, sounds like a movie.”

“Not really but I hope it will be fun.” Harry murmurs, opening the door for Zayn and leading him inside.

“I have never done anything like this before.” Zayn laughs as Harry pulls him to the section of the library where he has set things up for the best library picnic he can. “Are you sure we’re not like, breaking and entering here?”

“Yes I’m sure, stop worrying.” Harry nods as he leads Zayn past the shelf of classical literature and shows him the scene in front of them. There is a picnic blanket spread out on the floor. Okay, picnic blanket might be giving him credit, it’s not really a picnic blanket as much as it’s just a… blanket that he found at Louis’ and Niall’s place, but it is at least something to sit on and he tried his best. The basket is there and showing off chicken enchiladas that he has made just for this occasion and he seriously hopes it won’t taste horrible, because the last thing he need is for Zayn to hate his food. To top it off, he brought wine that is his favorite and then he even got chocolate covered strawberries. _And_ he even dared to light a few candles. Safely, of course, he doesn’t want to end up burning down the library. That’s not how he planned the date to go. All in all Harry is pretty proud of himself and the way this turned out, but he doesn’t know what Zayn will think.

He nervously watches Zayn, half expecting Zayn to think that now the whole thing really turned lame and not nice, but Zayn’s face is still covered with a big smile.

“You did all this? Harry, this is beautiful.”

“You think so?” Harry asks shyly as he takes Zayn’s hand, sitting down together with him on the blanket. “I just wanted to do something… special, I guess.”

“Well, as far as third dates goes, this is probably the best third date I’ve had.” Zayn comments with a soft voice and Harry’s heart does that pathetic little flip again because that means that Zayn _really_ counts their first coffee shop and restaurant hangout as a date, and he isn’t the only one. It makes him feel very pleased about it all.

“Wine?” He asks, before pouring wine into the two glasses he brought, handing Zayn one as Zayn nods. They quietly sip their wine for a few moments, just being silent until Harry decides they should probably start talking, even though being quiet with Zayn is kind of nice as well.

“I hope you like it, I’m not the best at picking wines but…”

“It’s great.” Zayn ensures him, smiling as he moves a bit closer to Harry, and Harry really doesn’t need the buzz of the wine to feel absolutely tingly by that.

“You’re kinda great.” He says before he can stop himself, but there’s really nothing else to say because there are candles and wine and picnic and everything is way too romantic and he really doesn’t mind. Zayn smiles at that, cupping Harry’s face with one hand.

“So are you, Harry.” He murmurs before he presses his lips softly against Harry’s again, capturing his lips in a kiss.

Harry closes his eyes immediately, melting into the kiss just as he did last time, even though this kiss is so much better because it is not in the middle of a crowd, they are alone and Harry doesn’t feel bad about the way he immediately moves closer to Zayn, deepening the kiss before wrapping an arm around Zayn’s waist, pulling him closer. His lips taste of wine, even though he can’t have drunken much. They are so soft, and Harry feels that he would be so very okay with forever kissing Zayn.

Zayn seems to have other things on his mind though, because he lets his hand softly brush over Harry’s leg, suggestively creeping upwards and Harry’s breath hitches as he realizes that.

“Do other people come in here when you’re closed?” Zayn whispers, lips pressed against the side of Harry’s mouth and Harry shakes his head so quickly he is kind of worried he will accidentally end up knocking Zayn out.

“No, not now, I am the only one here. And you. Well, we are the only ones here.” He rambles nervously and Zayn smiles at that, before he takes a fistful of Harry’s shirt, pulling him closer again.

“Good.” He murmurs before he kisses Harry again, deeper this time and Harry lets out a surprised but very pleased moan as he feels his dick twitch in his jeans, already desperate for attention. He is not at all sure on what Zayn plans to do but it’s pretty safe to say that he is right now close to doing something that he has never done in a library before in his life and as far as first times for things goes, he is pretty excited that it will be with Zayn.

They keep kissing, tongues eager and hands going everywhere, Harry feels as if his hands are almost overwhelmed because there is so much he wants to do, so much of Zayn he wants to touch at the same time, but he settles on that he will have time for that. He can go slow, really cherish every part of Zayn’s body because it really doesn’t seem as if Zayn is going anywhere.

“Can I take these off?” Zayn murmurs, fingers popping the button of Harry’s jeans before Harry even has time to let out a muffled, shaky yes.

Zayn pushes Harry gently down against the blanket, pulling his jeans off with a bit of a struggle since they are so tight as well as his own, before straddling his thighs and running his hands over his sides as he looks down at him. Harry has to swallow when their eyes meet, because Zayn on top of him is right now going straight to the top of his favorite things about Zayn. His cheeks are flushed and his lips half parted, he is panting just slightly as his hand slip under Harry’s shirt to play with one of his nipples.

“You are so handsome like this.” Zayn murmurs, fingers brushing over Harry’s cock and even though there is a layer of clothing in the way Harry as to bite down on his lip hard enough to draw blood to not let out one of the biggest moans ever heard from his lips. “Do you often do this?”

Harry shakes his head quickly without even knowing if Zayn is wondering if he often has sex in a library or if he in general has sex often. This makes Zayn smirk before he bows down his head, starting to kiss down Harry’s neck and Harry can feel him leaving marks all over him, and it doesn’t make him sad at all, it makes him feel really good.

Then Zayn slips his hand down Harry’s briefs and suddenly Harry feels even better, suddenly Harry feels great.

He lets out a moan, probably loud enough to show how pleased he is and he can almost feel Zayn smirk against his skin. Zayn keeps moving down his torso, nose running along it before he reaches the bottom of Harry’s shirt, gently pushing it up so that he can kiss around Harry’s belly button, slowly sucking and leaving hickeys just over his hip bones.

“Zayn please.” Harry manages to get out because there is far too much teasing right now, he is far too hard to just have Zayn’s mouth on his stomach and it is driving him crazy. “Get your kit off, come on, I wanna see you.” He stammers out and Zayn grins, before he quickly pulls away, getting rid of Harry’s shirt before quickly shedding the rest of his own clothes and Harry’s.

As they are both naked, Harry needs a moment because wow, he had seen Zayn’s tattoos before on his arms but wow, his torso is also covered in gorgeous black ink, and colored ink, and ink that Harry just wants to taste, want to run his tongue all over it. He almost spends so much time looking at the tattoos that he almost forgets that he also wants to look at Zayn’s cock and well, when his eyes find their way down their he really isn’t disappointed at all because wow. Thick, long and beautiful Zayn seems to also have one of the most gorgeous dicks that Harry has ever seen, and as if it isn’t enough that he is blessed with a gorgeous face. If Harry wasn’t in this position he would be jealous but right now he is so far from jealous, he isn’t even insecure about his own dick or what Zayn will think about him and his tattoos and the way he is pale and not golden tanned, he is just thinking about the fact that he gets to touch Zayn.

He is probably so lame and he is so very happy no one can see into his mind.

“Do you want this?” Zayn asks, gently stroking Harry so tender Harry wonders how it can even be this tender when they are surrounded by library books. “If you want me to stop just…”

“ _Zayn_.” Harry whines, frustrated doesn’t even begin to describe what he is feeling. “I want this now please…”

He is cut short by Zayn taking him into his mouth, it’s slow and careful and as Harry feels his tongue press against the slit, circle his head and Zayn’s lips wrapping around his shaft he can do nothing else but moan and close his eyes. Zayn feels great, Zayn seems perfect, Zayn seems very experienced and the more he takes of Harry’s cock, the more Harry wonders how many others that have had the luxury of getting blown in a library by Zayn, and thinking that it’s probably none which makes him happy. Greedily he grabs Zayn’s shoulders, just to be able to touch, feel, get more of him and Zayn hums around his cock, sending vibrations through his whole body. It’s warm and wet and perfect, Harry arches his back and thrusts his hips up without even thinking and then his cock hits the back of Zayn’s throat which causes Zayn to make a perfect, filthy sound as he pinches Harry’s hips, urging him to go on.

“Zayn.” Harry gasps out, really unable to form words but trying anyway because he wants to say something, wants desperately to comment on what is going on. “Fuck I… fuck.”

Zayn pulls off, Harry’s dick gliding out of his mouth with a wet pop and Zayn grins, meeting Harry’s eyes with lips wet of saliva, and Harry groans at the sight of it.

“Wanna…” Zayn murmurs, gesturing something that Harry isn’t sure what it’s supposed to be, but the look on Zayn’s face shows him enough.

“I… yeah just… fuck.” Harry whimpers, closing his eyes and covering his closed eyes with his arm as he breathes out. “Just fuck, no stuff.”

He had never thought he would need to come prepared for this date, didn’t want to seem cocky and had never expected it to happen and god, now he’s so disappointed.

It must be seen on his face because Zayn moves, covering Harry’s body with his own and removing the arm from his face, kissing him slowly.

“It’s okay.” He murmurs, and then he reaches a hand between their bodies, wrapping around both of their cocks as he starts to jerk them off together. Harry’s mouth is half open now, sloppily meeting Zayn’s lips as they kiss and he is so close, thrusting into Zayn’s tight fist and feeling Zayn’s cock against his own.

From just a fist and rub, Harry comes embarrassingly quickly probably. But the pleasure pooling in his gut can’t be stopped and with a cry he comes, covering Zayn’s hand and most of their chest with warm come. Zayn isn’t that far behind though, adding to the mess with his come and Harry tries to remember how to breathe properly as Zayn let’s go of him, just gently staying on top of Harry for a moment until they both have regain some kind of control over their breathing.

“Fuck.” Harry mutters, not really sure how this even happened and how he got so lucky. As he tries to remember how it is that you breathe normally, he starts worrying that maybe Zayn will think he is a slut now or something for doing this after just three dates, half worried that maybe it was all he wanted. It doesn’t seem to be like that though, because Zayn is nodding in a agreement to Harry’s lack of words, and tattooed arms wrap around Harry’s sweaty and probably gross body.

“This was nice.” Zayn finally says, and his voice is low and raspy, but still so pure in a way that Harry wonders if he has ever heard before. He nods, pressing his lips against Zayn’s temple because he can, because Zayn is close and there.

“It was really great.” He whispers, and then Zayn lets out a snorting giggle.

“Can believe I just got you off in a library, didn’t think that was happening. If I knew this, I would have talked to you sooner.” He blinks at Harry, and Harry can’t help but let out a little giggle, and then the giggle is silenced by Zayn’s mouth on his.

Harry can’t even tell for how long they actually do lazily make out, only that after a while he feels come sticking to his body and he is sadly getting a bit uncomfortable since he is on a floor with only a blanket. Zayn seems to get the picture, or maybe feel the same way, because he pulls away.

“Okay, maybe we should get out of here before we scare the shit out of some night guards or something.”

“Probably a good plan.” Harry agrees, and they get up from the floor, getting dressed quietly. It’s not an awkward silence though, it’s a nice silence and Harry now and then glance over at Zayn as he packs the remains of the food and drinks in the basket and Zayn looks as if he is glowing. It’s beautiful. His whole heart clenches and he has to bit down hard on his lip to not smile like an idiot.

“So…” Zayn says, hand running over Harry’s arm as they have packed everything, made sure they didn’t forget any clothes on the floor and prepare to leave in different directions. “Would you say we are having library dates only with each other, or are we going to meet other people as well?” He raises an eyebrow, and Harry has to let out a big giggle, it’s too loud and he covers his mouth with his hand quickly but he can’t help it. His eyes glimmer as he meets Zayn’s eyes.

“Are you asking if we’re going to be exclusive Zayn?” He wonders, feeling his heart swell at the thought and Zayn nods.

“Yeah, yeah I guess I am.”

“Well then yes.” Harry nods quickly, not wanting to act as if he needs to think about this. “Yes.”

Zayn’s smile is bigger now and Harry feels as he tries to match it how his cheeks almost hurt from smiling so much. He is like a school kid with a crush. It is ridiculous.

“Then I guess we are.” Zayn murmurs and Harry nods.

“I guess so.”

Zayn kisses Harry one more time before he leaves, and Harry waits until he is back in his flat before he texts Louis and Niall about tonight’s events.

He turns his phone off straight away though, thinking that he can answer any questions in the morning when he is not still focused on how the scent of Zayn still lingers on his clothes and body.

 

**

 

“This is your first boyfriend in a long time!” Niall says excitedly and almost spills his cup of tea in the process, having the reaction of Louis groaning as if he can’t believe his husband is this careless with tea. “Now we get to meet him, I am so excited, I want to hear all of it!”

“Niall, calm down.” Harry says, but he is excited too and he is almost too excited to drink his tea. “I mean we haven’t even said the boyfriend word yet, we just said we are exclusive so… I mean, I don’t know if we are boyfriends yet.” He pauses, thinking about it and eyebrows furrowing together. “How do I even know if we are boyfriends? Do I ask? Do I…”

“Stop overthinking everything please for the love of god Hazza.” Louis rolls his eyes, sipping his tea as he stares at Harry as if it is absolutely too annoying of Harry to do this. Harry pouts.

“I just don’t want to mess this up.”

“And you won’t. The guy jerked you off in a library. You’ve been seeing each other almost every day since then. I am pretty sure to say he is probably considering you his boyfriend, and you should consider him yours.” Louis decides, and Niall nods in agreement as his arms wrap around Louis.

“Listen to my hubby. And if he is your boyfriend, which I think it’s pretty clear that we have decided that he is, then we get to meet him!”

Harry groans as Louis and Niall high five each other. This is what he was afraid of.

“Well…”

“No, no. We are meeting this guy.” Louis says, as if he can read Harry’s mind that Harry is thinking that maybe this isn’t a good idea, or too early anyway. “We have to decide if he is good enough for our Haz, and no one is a better judge of that than the two of us.”

“You scare every guy away.” Harry comments, earning an eye roll from both of them at the same time that almost seems scripted.

“You never bring any guys home, so stop. Now, what do you say dinner Friday? I’m cooking, not Louis.” Niall adds quickly and Harry sighs, because there is really no way he will escape this anyway, so he might as well get it over with. Hopefully Zayn won’t scare easily. At least he also has three days to prepare him for this meeting, which will hopefully make him ready for it.

“Fine, I’ll ask him. We’ll be here at 7.”

“Good, good, bring wine.” Louis says with a bright smile, Niall grunting.

“And some beer mate, okay? Be a good lad.”

Harry wonders if he should be writing down a list of things he needs for this night. One of the things a secure backup plan on how to get Zayn out of there when Niall and Louis will start making a fool out of Harry for giggles.

 

**

 

Sadly, Zayn is easily convinced to meet Harry’s friends. Actually he is a bit excited, which kind of scares Harry because the poor boy has no idea what he is in for.

“You know we don’t have to do this.” He says again as him and Zayn are at the store, trying to pick out a good wine to bring with them to Niall and Louis. Zayn laughs and shakes his head.

“Wow, you make it seem as if I’m going to be thrown into some snake den or something.” He says it with a little grin, before he kisses Harry’s cheek and wow, Harry is so very pleased with this, so pleased with being kissed in public, having someone to go home with and not falling asleep by himself every night. He closes his eyes, just enjoying the feeling of Zayn’s lips.

“No, I just want you to know that they can be kind of… intense.” He warns, because he should warn him, he has no idea how Louis and Niall will treat him. Zayn laughs again.

“I think it sounds lovely and anyway, what kind of jerk would I be if I didn’t want to meet my boyfriend’s best friends?”

Harry has to bit down hard on his lip as he hears Zayn call him his boyfriend, because even though it isn’t the first time Zayn said that, the first time was yesterday when they woke up together, Harry is pretty sure he will never be used to it ever.

“You are the best.” He says, kissing Zayn’s lips quickly before grabbing a bottle of wine and walking over to pay for it. “I mean, you might be a fool, but still.”

Zayn just laughs, squeezing Harry’s hand as their fingers entangle as soon as they have paid and are on their way to Louis’ and Niall’s place.

“I’ll be a happy fool, I’m sure of it.” He said with a little grin, and Harry really hopes that he is right because he doesn’t know what he will do if the other boys manage to scare him away or something. Harry squeezes Zayn’s hand a little harder, just to show that he is there and to prove to himself that Zayn is there and that he isn’t going anywhere right now. They are together.

 

**

 

“You’re kidding?” Zayn laughs, refilling his glass of wine as he listens to Niall. “Right there, in the parking lot? Wow, you guys wasted no time.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Louis comments, but at the same time Niall proudly nods, so Louis’ comment is kind of lost in that.

“Yeah well, when you want something you gotta go for it amarite Harry, huh?” Niall nudges Harry’s arm and Harry just glares at him, but in a loving way. Zayn smiles as he looks over at Harry, he is sitting next to Louis and Harry is sitting next to Niall, and it feels nice. Niall has been telling Zayn all kinds of stories but thankfully, so far, the conversation has been more about him and Louis and not so much about Harry and Zayn.

“Mhm.” Harry decides is a good enough comment that Niall deserves for a question like that, and Niall glares at him before Louis takes over.

“Well Zayn, tell us a bit more about you because we are really curious about the guy who managed to get our Hazza to fall so completely.” Louis smiles, leaning over the table to grab the bottle of wine and then he pours himself some more as he looks over at Zayn. Zayn smiles and runs his fingers through his hair.

“Uhm, well not much to tell really… I’m a barista… I do photography… like, lots of it. And then I love to draw and just doodle things and well, I also love my skateboard which might be…”

“Wow, you have a skateboard, so do I!” Louis says and he looks so excited. Zayn smiles brightly, nodding.

“I know people think it’s kind of lame sometimes and I’m no Tony Hawk but yeah.”

“This is so cool, it was forever since I got to meet someone that likes skateboards.” Louis says with a bright smile matching Zayn’s and Harry looks from one to the other a bit surprised with himself that he didn’t realize how Zayn and Louis really would click. They are a bit a like after all. Apparently they don’t need much to start talking.

Soon they are both chatting so much about skateboards and tattoos and then Louis takes Zayn to the balcony for them both to smoke a cigarette and Harry and Niall are left behind, and Harry almost feels a bit left out even though it’s probably stupid to be. Niall doesn’t seem to care at all, he just laughs and eats the last of Louis’ food that he has left behind on his plate.

“Well he seems nice. You got yourself a good one.” Niall gently pats Harry’s arm and Harry can’t help but smile and nod, agreeing with that statement.

“Yeah, he is. I’m very lucky.” He says with a fond smile as he looks over to the window where you can see Louis and Zayn outside, Zayn laughing at something Louis said and Harry feels his stomach combust with butterflies. He truly is lucky.

“I wonder if Louis will ever give him back to you now though, when he found out that he got a new skateboard pal.” Niall chuckles, getting up from the table to start putting their plates in the dishwasher. Harry helps, carrying their cutlery carefully to not drop anything and he looks over at Louis and Zayn again. It’s not as if it takes them that long to smoke a cigarette after all, but they seem to be stuck in some conversation because they don’t come back inside yet.

“Of course he will.” Harry laughs, and then he hesitates before he asks. “What, of course he will right, not like Louis can take…”

“Oh my god Harry I was kidding.” Niall rolls his eyes as he looks at Harry, obviously thinking he is absolutely stupid. “Louis can’t take Zayn no, and he won’t. Don’t get all upset about it, be happy your best friend likes your boyfriend.”

Harry nods, washing his hands quietly and then nods again. Louis and Zayn comes back then, laughing about some tattoo story as Louis shows Zayn his dagger.

“Should we be heading back soon?” Zayn asks with a smile, wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist and Harry leans against him with a smile.

“Yeah, we should.”

“We’re on for Thursday, right?” Louis asks and Zayn nods happily.

“Yeah, give me a call and we’ll meet up.”

“What’s happening Thursday?” Harry asks, just because he is a little curious not that he is against them hanging out. He hope it doesn’t come out as that. Zayn smiles.

“I asked Louis to come with me to a photo shoot I have, we’re doing a skateboard cover for a magazine and I figured he’d like it.”

“I’d love it.” Louis agrees, and Harry can’t help but pout.

“I’ve never seen you at a photo shoot.” He mumbles, but apparently it’s too quiet because no one is reacting and maybe that is for the best because Harry has no idea why he is even acting like this right now. It’s not as if he is jealous just because Zayn and Louis is hanging out, even if it feels as if they got close in the matter of six seconds.

Zayn has his arm around Harry though, and he keeps his arm there all the way to Harry’s flat and then he fucks Harry slow and tender into the mattress as romantic as he can while Harry is whimpering dirty nothings in his ear, and Harry forgets all about thinking about other things. There is nothing else but Zayn and the way he sleeps next to him in a bed that might be a bit too tiny for two, but right now Harry doesn’t mind at all that it is.

 

**

 

“Maybe we should go away this weekend.” Harry says one morning, he is sitting on the kitchen table because who needs chairs really, and Zayn is cooking eggs. Zayn looks over at him.

“You think so? Yeah, maybe we should.”

Harry feels his heart sing because that means maybe Zayn remembers too that this weekend means it’s one month since they officially called each other boyfriend for the first time and maybe it means something for him too.

“Really? I thought we could go to the countryside or…”

“No wait shit, I can’t.” Zayn grunts, covering his face with his hands. “I promised I’d hang out with Louis this weekend, Niall was apparently away on some trip and he said he felt lonely so we decided to hang out.”

“Oh.” Harry says, because he didn’t even know Louis felt lonely when Niall was away and why is he asking Zayn and not him and…

He tries to stop before jealousy spirals away, not sure what he is jealous about the most. Zayn looks at him, head tilted.

“I’m sorry, okay? Maybe the week after that or something? I just don’t wanna cancel on him, don’t want him upset.”

Harry wonders if it matters that he is upset right now, but he doesn’t say anything because then Zayn will think he is a whiny baby and he does not want that to happen.

“It’s fine.” He says instead, forcing a smile that he hopes seems genuine. “There will be other weekends right? I just thought…”

Zayn kisses him before he can finish, smiling big.

“Thank you. Okay, eggs coming up, get ready.”

 

**

 

When Louis calls Harry one time to ask where Zayn is because he needs to talk to him and he seems to have forgotten his phone somewhere, Harry doesn’t really feel that good about it all. He makes up a lie about not knowing where Zayn is, without really knowing why but there is just the thing that it’s Sunday, him and Zayn are having the whole day just for themselves and he does not want Zayn running off with Louis again. He feels bad as he hangs up, wondering if he is messed up and bad, but he tries to make himself feel better by telling himself that actually, Zayn is sleeping right now in his bed and he doesn’t want to bother him. He grabs the cup of tea he made, walking back to the bedroom to see if Zayn is awake now.

He isn’t, but the view is still great enough for Harry to watch him sleeping for a bit, leaning against the wall as he sips his tea. Zayn is all tangled up in his blankets, covering half of his bum and not much of his torso, and he is naked since none of them could be bothered to get dressed after last night where Zayn spent a good few hours eating Harry out and Harry was whimpering and begging and wondering why on earth he deserved this lovely tongue up his arse and how he never wanted it to end.

He looks beautiful, Harry can’t help but to think that and that’s when he gets the idea that he needs to find a camera, he needs to capture this moment. He looks through his drawers, trying to find his digital camera that he bought a couple of years ago for a trip to Rome with some friends from college, but now hasn’t used in a bit. He managed to wake Zayn up in the process, but Zayn is still sleepy and absolutely gorgeous as he lifts his head just barely, looking up at Harry.

“Mmm… morning.” He murmurs, and Harry smiles, getting on his knees into the bed to get a better angle of him on the bed.

“Morning.” He says with a soft voice, rubbing his thumb in circles on Zayn’s arm. “How did you sleep?”

“Good.” Zayn mutters, stretching his limbs almost catlike and Harry’s heart is swelling at the sight and he is probably a bit or a lot in love with this man on his bed and he can’t really stop it.

“Can I take a picture?” Harry asks, and it’s almost as if Zayn tense up just at the mention of that.

“A picture?” He frowns and then shakes his head. “I don’t photograph well.”

“Shut up.” Harry says with love, leaning in to kiss Zayn softly. Morning breath doesn’t bother him anymore, not at all. “You look perfect. Can I? Please? It’s not even a great camera.”

It truly isn’t and Zayn would probably laugh at him if he saw the old model Harry is currently trying to work but he seems to be too sleepy to care about that.

“Fine, okay.” Zayn finally agrees as if he can’t say no to Harry’s wishes and that makes Harry very happy. He places the cup of tea on the night stand to not spill it, and then he starts trying to take some pictures.

It’s difficult when he isn’t very good at it in the first place, but the morning light helps for perfect setting, and Zayn does photograph well, even if his hair is a little messy and you can tell he is just barely awake, he looks so good with sleepy eyes and parted lips that Harry wonders if it will be very creepy to get those photos as a collage to put on his wall.

“You’re gorgeous.” He comments finally, thinking that it is probably okay and Zayn blushes slightly.

“I am not.”

“Yes you are.” Harry murmurs and then Zayn rolls his eyes but he pulls Harry down on top of him, Harry giggling as he settle on top of Zayn, straddling his thighs as Zayn pulls on his sweatshirt.

“Why are you wearing clothes?” Zayn mutters as if it’s offensive and how could Harry dare to put on clothing a time like this. Harry laughs quietly again, but he doesn’t waste any time in getting his clothes off because he likes being naked, and he especially likes to be naked with a sleepy naked Zayn. His clothes fall to the floor and he manages to untangle all the blankets from Zayn’s body, getting between them so that he can press his warm body against Zayn’s, and it’s comfortable and nice and his half hard dick lines up with Zayn’s soft one.

“Better?” He asks and Zayn decides to nod before pulling Harry in for a kiss and wrap a sleepy hand around his cock and start to jerk him off. Harry hadn’t been expecting that, but he grunts, throwing his head back as he fucks up into Zayn’s tight wrist, breathing hard as Zayn mumbles incoherent words about him. Harry manage to, even if it’s not the best position, to grab Zayn and stroke his cock to full hardness and then they lie there, jerking each other off until Harry comes with a cry over both their hands and Zayn isn’t far behind.

“Good morning.” Zayn grins and Harry chuckles, moving in to kiss him and feeling absolutely happy in his arms, knowing that he is here and won’t go anywhere.

That’s when he remembers Louis’ phone call and he feels pretty bad about that, so as Zayn’s breathing calm down after the high of an orgasm, he clears his throat.

“Uhm, so did you lose your phone? Because Louis called earlier because he couldn’t reach you.”

Zayn looks up at Harry, thinking about it and then he nods.

“Yeah shit, left my phone at home. What, did he want anything or…?”

“He wanted to know where you were because he wanted to hang out or something. Again.” Harry mumbles, and suddenly he realizes he has to tell Zayn that Louis wanted to see him and that Harry lied about knowing where he was, and that doesn’t feel great at all now. “Uhm, I kind of told him I didn’t know where you were. Sorry.” He quickly adds because Zayn’s smile falters as soon as he hears that. “It’s just, you were sleeping and it’s Sunday and you’ve been hanging out with him so much lately and I…”

“So you told my friend a lie?” Zayn asks, an eyebrow arched and Harry swallows.

“Well, _my_ friend. Our friend. I mean, I just wanted a day together and not…”

“You didn’t have to lie about where I was for that.” Zayn mutters and his whole body tenses up and Harry swallows again, and again, and feeling cold inside because Zayn looks upset. “You could have just said you wanted us to spend today together and tell Louis I will call him back some other time when I can hang out with him. You didn’t have to lie to him and make it seem like you have some kind of say in where I go and not.”

Harry seems to have touched a subject here he didn’t know was this sensitive, because Zayn is almost trembling.

“Zayn, I just…”

Zayn sighs. He sits up, wiping his come stained hand on the sheets. He does not look happy. At all.

“Harry, just next time, give me a message okay? I don’t want you to lie about where I am because you don’t want Louis to hang out with me.”

Harry is quiet, he doesn’t know what to say which is why he is so surprised with himself that the next words slip out before he can stop them.

“Do you like him? Is that why you’re always hanging out?”

“Excuse me?”

Zayn stares at Harry as if he can’t believe what he is hearing and truth to be told, Harry wonders what he is on about as well because he really shouldn’t have said that. “Where did that come from?”

“You seem to like him, you’re always hanging out.” He keeps going, he doesn’t know why he doesn’t just shut up. Zayn keeps staring at him.

“Louis is a cool guy, we have fun together, why you think I’m fucking him or something? He’s fucking married, Haz. And I’m with you.”

“Well you ask him to go to all kind of things you never invite me to.” Harry comments, as if he is just trying to make sense even though he knows he should be quiet. “And you’re so alike, and I’m feeling as if you have more fun with him because he…”

Harry gets interrupted by Zayn shaking his head, he doesn’t let him finish the sentence and maybe that is for the best because Harry doesn’t even know why he is saying all of this now, it’s like all that he has been thinking about these last couple of weeks just comes bubbling back up and he hates it.

“So let me get this straight, you think I’m fucking your best friend, who is married to your other best friend, and that we are all doing this behind your back and that’s why you are now lying about knowing where I am?” Zayn sounds angry, his voice is raised in a way he has never spoken to Harry before, and it makes Harry back away a little wishing he was wearing more clothes because it feels really awkward to be naked now. Zayn seems to think the same things, because he reaches for the clothes he left in a pile next to Harry’s bed before they fell asleep last night and he is shaking his head.

“I can’t believe this.”

“It was just a question.” Harry tries, but Zayn looks furious now. They are having their first fight and Zayn looks so angry and Harry feels stupid and he hates fighting, and he hates it even more because he knows it’s all his fault.

“No, it was not just a question, you are basically trying to control me and who I hang out with because apparently you think I’m some kind of dick who would cheat on you. You’re just like Liam.” Zayn spits out, and he buttons his jeans so quickly Harry doesn’t even realize it happens, and then Zayn is grabbing his sweatshirt.

“Zayn, I’m sorry I…”

“I gotta go.” Zayn mutters, clearly upset and angry and Harry wants to keep him there but he also wants to cry and slap himself for being an idiot who can’t keep his mouth shut, so maybe he should just let him go. “I’ll call you later if I can find my phone.”

Harry sits there watching as Zayn storms off, the door slamming shut with the loudest bang Harry as heard in his life, and he starts trembling. He looks at the pictures on the camera, wondering if it was the last time he ever got a chance to photograph Zayn.

 

 

**

 

“You did what?” Niall shakes his head as Harry has finished talking, as if he can’t believe what he is hearing. Harry has been in hiding for days, trying to contact Zayn but not getting any reply whatsoever and after trying to keep it together, he finally ended up calling Niall when he knew Louis was at work, and now here he is. For hours almost crying on Niall’s and Louis’ couch. “Harry please, that really wasn’t cool. Honestly.”

“I know.” Harry mumbles, and he really feels so stupid about it all. Maybe Zayn will never again call him back or text him, and Harry can’t blame him because he was probably really stupid. Really, really stupid. Hearing Zayn compare him to Liam had really hurt. “I didn’t mean to, but it just got… too much. I was jealous.”

“Of Louis?” Niall rolls his eyes almost hard enough so that Harry worries they will fall out of his skull. “Harry, it’s Louis for god’s sake. He is married to _me_. And he is your best friend. Mate, he is not after your boyfriend. He would never.” Niall shakes his head and it makes Harry feel even more stupid.

“Come on Niall.” Harry whispers, looking up at Niall and he just desperately needs Niall to understand this. “You saw them going at it, I mean, talking and acting like they had been best pals forever. And since then they are always hanging out and I just…”

“Yeah.” Niall says, but he isn’t understanding Harry like Harry kind of wishes he would. “They get along, they like the same things. Doesn’t mean they are fucking. Haz, you can’t act like that, you will look like an obsessed creep and listen I get it, I get being insecure and worried and that love does this to you but you can’t have him feel like this. He didn’t do anything but hang out with Louis. He is allowed to spend time with other people than you.”

“Hang out _a lot_ and…”

“Yeah, and you know what?” Niall stares at him and he’s so _harsh_ , but maybe that’s good and what Harry needs right now. “You should be happy they are friends, would it be better if he hated Louis? And me? And didn’t want to hang out with us? No, you should feel lucky. Harry, your boyfriend _likes_ your best friends and wants to hang out with them, do you have any idea how great that is? You’re not caught in some drama that your boyfriend wants you to cut your ties with your friends because he can’t stand them, here you have a boyfriend who gladly hangs out with you best friends. Doesn’t mean he will fuck them.”

Harry wants to cry, wants to cry because Niall is _right_ but he can’t help but still feeling as if he isn’t good enough. That the reason Zayn rather hang out with Louis for certain things is because Harry isn’t good enough, and soon Zayn will realize that Harry isn’t good enough at all and he will leave him.

Niall seems like he can tell because he places his hand on Harry’s thigh, squeezing it gently.

“I get it.” He says softly again. “I get that love makes you crazy, but please don’t ruin this. Trust him, trust Louis. I trust Louis more than anyone in the whole world and I know he wouldn’t cheat on me. And Zayn wouldn’t cheat on you. You have a good thing going here, Harry. Don’t mess it up by being jealous and not talking to him. Okay?”

“He won’t text me back.” Harry whispers, tears threatening to spill and Niall nods as if he can understand this.

“Then go see him, babe. Tell him you were an idiot, explain things and god, don’t let him slip out of your life now when he is finally in this, I did not spend like months listening to you pine over this guy to have it all for nothing.”

“Hey.” Harry protests, laughing a little through the tears. “I did not pine.”

Niall nods.

“You were pining, mate. Now go, because my husband is coming home soon and I plan to seduce him right here and unless you plan to stay and watch, I suggest you get a move on lad.”

Harry grimaces, but he pulls Niall into a warm hug, all his gratefulness in it.

“Thank you.” He mumbles, burying his face in Niall’s shoulder as Niall pats his back reassuringly.

“Don’t mention it, dumbass.” He says with love. “Now go make amends, make things better.”

 

**

 

Harry calls Zayn and it’s late and he usually doesn’t call him this late because he knows Zayn often works early shifts, but he calls him anyway. Zayn sounds tired when he picks up, but he is picking up anyway.

“What do you want?” He asks which, okay, probably isn’t really what Harry had been hoping to hear. “I’m not with Louis if that’s what you want to know.”

It hurts, but Harry thinks he probably deserves it, but it still hurts and it turns him just as hostile as he feels Zayn is to him.

“I did not call to check up on you…” He tries, but Zayn interrupts.

“Really? Because it seemed as if that’s just what you wanted to do.”

“Zayn…” Harry tries, and he wants to cry out of frustration that Zayn won’t even listen to what he has to say to him. “I…”

“But now you now and really it’s late I should go to bed, so bye.” Zayn mutters and before Harry even has a chance to say anything again he hangs up on him.

Harry wants to throw his phone against a wall but he doesn’t do that, instead he texts Niall because he can’t text Louis about this, Louis will probably get just as upset with him that Zayn is.

**_“He won’t even talk to me, he hung up on me_ ** **_L_ ** **_”_ **

He gets a few texts for a reply, not just one.

**_“HARRY I said go talk to him not bone him”_ **

**_“**phone him bloody autocorrect”_ **

**_“Actually though you probs shouldn’t bone him either right now until it calmed down so it was a good advice from my phone but still GO meet him something don’t do this from a distance.”_ **

Harry looks at his phone and wonders if Niall is right, if maybe he should go see Zayn and then decides that it probably is the best thing to do. Maybe.

 

**

Harry is just getting out of the shower when he hears his phone, running to it and picks up before he can even check who it is because he hope it’s Zayn calling back.

“Zayn?” He asks, out of breath and messy, and he hears a sigh.

“No, it’s just me. Louis.”

Harry feels his heart drop, for many reasons because a) disappointed and b) he realizes it’s been ages since he actually spoke to Louis.

“Uhm… hi.” He says, and he can almost hear Louis rolling his eyes.

“Is it true what Niall says? Do you think me and Zayn are cheating on the both of you?”

“No…” Harry tries to say, but it’s clear Louis knows what’s going on and anyway, Harry has never been able to lie to him anyway. He can almost hear Louis roll his eyes. “Fine okay, so maybe I was a little bothered by you hanging out. I’m over it.”

“Harry, love.” Louis says, looking both annoyed and as if he wants to give Harry a hug. “Why are you trying to find something wrong with this? You have been overthinking the Zayn thing since you met him and now everything is going great and you make up this stupid thing that I would try to steal him, or that he wants me? It’s stupid.”

Harry wants to be hurt by how Louis speaks to him, but he can’t. He sighs instead.

“It was just… I was being a bit…”

“Dumb.” Louis helps out, and then he starts talking again. “Now you listen to my husband and you go fix this. I am not sleeping with Zayn, I just thought he was lots of fun to hang out with. Please don’t let that ruin this, I couldn’t live with myself knowing that it was me…”

“Louis it’s not you!” Harry interrupts, because there is no way he will have Louis feeling guilty about this, no way.

“But it is.” Louis says, dramatically. “I will be the reason you two will part, going down different roads all due to some misunderstandings that we…”

“Now you’re just messing with me.” Harry pouts, wishing Louis could see the way he pouts through the phone. Should have facetimed him. Louis laughs.

“Okay yes I am messing with you a little but you deserve it. Now Styles, you listen to me as well, you get going and you apologize and you fix this, okay? No backing out. You’ve got this. Don’t make me come after you and force you over to Zayn’s place you know I will, I’ll grab you by the ear and…”

“I’m going.” Harry interrupts him, sighing and yet he is still very thankful he’s got two friends like this, and also very thankful that Louis isn’t yelling at him or being upset with him for real. “I promise I’m going.”

“I will find out if you back out.” Louis muses and then he hangs up, and Harry takes a deep breath. There truly is no other way out of this now.

 

 

Harry wonders if he should buy Zayn flowers or something, but flowers die and Harry doesn’t want a symbol for this to be things that dies, so in the end he settles on getting a book by Dickens, symbol for their first conversation, real conversation. He clutches _Great Expectations_ in his hand, heart threating to beat hard enough to break his chest as he walks the road leading to Zayn’s apartment, hoping the other is home. He doesn’t know what he will do if he isn’t, or if he is home and just sends Harry home without listening to him, telling him it’s over and that he doesn’t want to see him anymore. Harry swallows, trying to not throw up as he rings the doorbell.

The minute it takes for Zayn to come to the door is the longest in Harry’s _life_.

When he opens the door though, Harry feels weak to the knees because it’s like he has forgotten what it’s like to be near Zayn, and Zayn looks as if he is coming fresh out of the shower, wearing nothing but sweatpants and a tank top but making it look like an outfit worthy a runway. His hair is a bit wet and he looks confused and also annoyed with the way Harry is standing outside his door, and Harry swallows as he looks into his eyes.

“Hi.” He whispers and Zayn rolls his eyes.

“Hey. What’s up?”

Harry gives him the book. Zayn stares at it, and then at Harry, and then at the book again.

“Instead of flowers.” Harry says, feeling more stupid by the second, and he quickly adds. “I’m sorry.”

Zayn shakes his head, but he steps to the side so that Harry can enter.

“Come in, it’s fucking freezing out.”

So at least Zayn isn’t _that_ angry with him, he doesn’t want him catching a cold or something which Harry takes as a good sign. He had almost expected a door in his face but it doesn’t seem to be happening.

“Zayn, I just wanted to say I…” Harry starts, but Zayn turns around and interrupts him.

“Harry you have to listen to me, I can’t live in a relationship that wants to control me. I can’t. I got out of one and it was horrible and I do not plan to go through the same thing again. Louis and I are just friends, I like hanging out with him, that’s all.”

“I…” Harry tries, but Zayn apparently has more to say because he cuts in again.

“If you can’t trust me, we have no future, you know? And I can’t spend all my time with you, I can’t be forced to tell you all about what I’m doing and who I hang out with and especially when I’m hanging out with your best friend you should trust us both to not want to hurt you. Like honestly, Haz?”

“I know!” Harry raises his voice to just actually get a say in this. “I know, okay, it was just too much and I had been thinking about and I let it get to me when I shouldn’t have and I…”

“Yeah, you were acting like a stupid idiot.” Zayn mutters, and Harry feels as if he is being slapped which maybe he would deserve, but it still upsets him.

“Maybe I just act stupid sometimes because maybe I kinda love you.” Harry almost yells, and the love you slips out before he can stop himself but he doesn’t have time to freak out about it now.

“Yeah? Well maybe I kinda love you too and I think it’s kind of idiotic that you think I would cheat on you with your best friend.” Zayn talks back at him, and he looks as if he realizes what they just said as well, but Harry is pretty sure they are still fighting, or something close to fighting or arguing, and none of them can react to those words.

“I get it I am an idiot you are right and I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry and I love you.” Harry says again, and now Zayn grabs his arm and pulls him closer.

“I’m fucking in love with you Harry Styles, don’t make it look as if I would cheat on you.” Zayn murmurs, and he is close now, and the anger and the upset filling Harry’s body disappears, even though it probably shouldn’t be this quick but he can’t help it.

“I’m in love with you too and I just…” Harry starts, but Zayn kisses him, interrupting everything he wanted to say to apologize, apologize for being a creepy dick, apologize for thinking Zayn would cheat on him, and the words are drowned in the mess that is their tongues.

“Just trust me, please. Don’t think bad stuff about me. I wouldn’t hurt you. I won’t hurt you. Me hanging out with Louis doesn’t mean I’m not in love with you. Don’t be so insecure.” Zayn mumbles against his lips and Harry wants to cry because he hates being insecure, and he hates almost ruining things because of it, but Zayn is here and the way he is holding on to Harry kind of proves that he isn’t going anywhere, not right now.

“I trust you.” Harry whispers. “I trust you more than I trust anyone, I don’t want to lose what we had. I’m so sorry Zayn, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t do it again.” Zayn mumbles, and then he is kissing him again, and he lifts Harry up as if Harry weighs nothing and Harry wraps his arms and legs around him, holding him tight as Zayn lifts him up on the kitchen table, sketches and notebooks from when Zayn was working going everywhere, and Harry whimpers as Zayn steps between his legs.

“I love you.” Zayn whispers quietly, brushing Harry’s hair out of his eyes as they look at each other, and Harry wants to cry again, hating how he always wants to cry.

“I love you too.” He lets out a tiny little sob and then Zayn is kissing him again. Harry wraps his arms and legs even tighter around Zayn, nails digging into his bare arms and their kisses get messier and sloppier and then Zayn lifts Harry up again, carrying him towards the bedroom careful to not drop Harry until they are close to the bed, because he drops Harry then, Harry falling into the mattress as Zayn drops to his knees and starts undoing his trousers.

“I love you.” Harry repeats, as if now when it’s out he can’t stop saying it. “I trust you, I’m sorry, I wouldn’t think that you…”

Zayn hushes him, kissing him again while his hands grab hold of his trousers, pulling them down with his boxers and tossing them over the room, far away before he pulls Harry’s shirt over his head too.

“Missed you.” Zayn murmurs, getting rid of his top and sweatpants before he reaches for the bedside table, coming back with lube and a condom before he crawls on top of Harry and kisses him again.

“Missed you too.” Harry breathes out, tilting his head so that Zayn will get access to his neck to kiss and suck on while he is coating his fingers with lube, long slender fingers circling Harry’s entrance and he spreads his legs, completely open for Zayn.

The first finger slips inside him and Harry gasps, wanting to whimper Zayn’s name but it’s lost in his throat. Instead he just digs his nails into Zayn’s skin, leaving red marks all over his shoulder blades and Zayn moves his finger so carefully inside him, almost too carefully. Harry is just about to beg for more when he feels the second finger and both fingers now starts stretching him open properly while he gets kissed again and again by Zayn’s lift. God, he missed him so much, he doesn’t ever want to be away from him.

“Zayn…” He whimpers, but it’s lost in the sob of a moan as a third finger joins the first two and now he doesn’t know what to do, he needs Zayn, right now and Zayn smiles softly, he looks so fond as their eyes meet and that is how Harry wants him to look at him forever, not with anger or hurt or pain, he wants him to look at him with fond and love, that’s all he wants. “I’m ready baby, please…”

Zayn pulls away, fingers slipping out of Harry with a wet pop and Harry moans as Zayn reach for a condom, rolling it on as quick as he can with slippery fingers from the wet lube, and he gives himself a few teasing strokes as Harry is looking.

“No fair.” Harry murmurs, pulling Zayn close as he spreads his legs for him, so open and so ready for him. Zayn hushes him with a kiss and then finally, after Harry is ready to whimper again, he can feel him push inside him past all his muscles and Harry just invites him in, like he did the first time, like he always does but now it’s even more intense.

“I love you.” Zayn murmurs against his lips as they start to move together, the angle perfect for the pleasure they both need and Harry clenches around him, enjoying how it makes Zayn whimper as well.

“I love you too.” Harry gaps out, meaning every word he says and hoping Zayn will know that he does and it’s when their eyes meet each other and Harry can not only feel but see the love, he knows that Zayn believes him.

“Together?” Zayn asks, and Harry isn’t sure what he means by that but he nods, because when it comes to Zayn and being together, the answer is always yes.

When they come, they come in unison which is almost too good to be true and almost has Harry laughing out loud because it feels as if they are in some romantic movie and he isn’t sure it’s supposed to happen like this.

“I didn’t think you would let me in.” Harry whispers when they are trying to catch their breaths, and he is drawing circles on Zayn’s chest with his fingertips. Zayn smiles and shakes his head.

“We just had a fight and I was upset, didn’t mean I wanted you out of my life.”

“I am sorry.” Harry mumbles, looking at Zayn through long eyelashes with eyes half closed, and Zayn nods, cupping his jaw before tilting his head up.

“I know. And I’m sorry I stormed off without talking about it. It’s just a sensitive subject for me.”

Harry nods, and they look at each other for a bit, just silently enjoying each other’s company. Harry clears his throat first.

“I missed you.”

Zayn smiles.

“Missed you too. My life is strangely dull without you.”

Harry laughs and runs his fingers through his long curls, careful to not get tangled in it.

“Same to you.”

Zayn smiles, leaning in and kissing Harry’s lips.

“You’re spending the night, right?” He asks, and Harry nods even before he’s finished the sentence.

“I am not going anywhere.”

And he means it.

 

 

**_3 months later._ **

 

“No peeking, okay you have to swear you won’t try to look.” Zayn warns him, leading Harry down the street and Harry isn’t sure he could look even if he wanted to because Zayn is not only covering his eyes with one of Harry’s bandanas, but also with his hands.

“I promise I can’t even look if I wanted to now please, please tell me where we are going, are we there yet?” Harry tries to sound annoyed, but actually he is quite enjoying this, surprises being something fun for once. He hears Zayn giggle and then he stops, Harry can hear people and cars around them.

“Okay you can look… now.” Zayn says, removing his hands and the bandana. Harry has to blink, the sudden sunlight a shock and he blinks a couple of more times before he can finally see what is in front of him.

It’s a big poster on the bus stop, some guy in jeans and it takes Harry embarrassingly long to realize who it is.

“I… fuck, Zayn, is that you?!” He practically screams, turning to Zayn and back to the poster when he notices. Zayn is chewing on his lower lip, nodding eagerly.

“Yes! Yes it’s me, my first real photo shoot. With myself. I mean. It’s me!”

“How did you manage to keep this from me?!” Harry asks, playfully slapping Zayn’s arm and Zayn chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“I don’t know, it is kind of easy obviously to hide things from you, so if I actually had been cheating you probably would have…”

Harry slaps his arm again, a little harder this time and Zayn starts laughing.

“Too soon? Okay, sorry but no really, it was only like one shoot and I didn’t even know it was going to be anything but… here I am!”

He poses in front of the poster, doing the same pose that poster Zayn is doing and Harry stares at both of them at the same time and he can’t believe Zayn is plastered all over the bus stop promoting some kind of face cream and wearing only jeans showing his hip bones and looking absolutely gorgeous.

“Here you are.” He nods, and he still can’t believe it. “Wow, you’re a real model, finally.”

“A model.” Zayn nods, and they both stay there for a moment, just looking at the poster and Zayn sneaks an arm around Harry’s waist. “Thank you, you know. For taking those pictures of me that morning and showing me that I could actually be on camera.”

Harry blinks, surprised because he wasn’t sure that morning changed anything, but then again all he could remember was the fight following afterwards. Zayn smiles so brightly though and he nods, kissing his lips softly.

“I just knew you could do it, you have all the talent you need and plus you know, pretty face.” He comments and Zayn laughs, shoving Harry’s side gently.

“You better think my face is pretty. Wanna get back now so you can stare at my face in the privacy of one of our apartments, or wanna stay here?” Zayn asks and Harry thinks about it, before nodding as a reply.

“Let’s go back, want to be reminded that I’m yours and you’re mine.” He murmurs happily and Zayn nods, a smile spreading on his face.

“Come on.”

Harry jumps up on Zayn’s back, laughing as he hooks his legs around his waist and arms carefully around his neck, Zayn securely holding onto him as they run up the road, people stare at them and Harry wonders if anyone thinks they are crazy and probably they are, they are probably so very crazy and Harry doesn’t care because they are crazy together, and he is crazy about Zayn and nothing else is important right now. Nothing at all.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter and tumblr (babygotstyles) if you want to talk about Zarry or give some feedback or anything, let's be friends x


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